Derek Jeter and I know how it feels to incur Landlord Trump’s wrath
By Keith Olbermann
April 12 2016
FOR A GUY WHO WANTS TO throw 11 million people out of his country, Donald Trump sure gets testy when one person moves out of one of his apartment buildings.
I’ve previously written that I just couldn’t take living under the same roof with Donnie’s ego and was moving out of my “Trump Palace” apartment and putting it up for sale. The Wall Street Journal has written up the story and Trump has deigned to comment.
“Mr. Trump said in an email that Mr. Olbermann ‘is just trying to use “Trump” to get publicity and stay relevant. The prices of Trump apartments are today, the highest they’ve been. When people find out he is leaving Trump Palace, prices will probably go up.’ ”
Sick burn, Don. I’ve already left. I’m selling the apartment now, so I’m hoping prices will go up. You sure showed me!
There’s a lot more in Trump’s statement that deserves parsing, but first, a more macro viewpoint: I’m hardly the first new ex-resident of Fortress Trump to incur the wrath of a man who sounds less like a Real Estate Super Genius and more like a jilted lover.
Early on the morning of Oct. 14, 2012, star shortstop Derek Jeter of the New York Yankees ranged to his left in pursuit of a ground ball, only to crumple to the ground. He had broken his ankle. The next day, Trump tweeted:
“Derek Jeter had a great career until 3 days ago when he sold his apartment at Trump World Tower -- I told him not to sell -- karma?”
Lest you’re thinking Trump couldn’t possibly be taking credit for/showing glee at an injury that would sideline one of baseball’s most popular players until the following July, five days later he tried to disabuse you of your common decency, tweeting:
“Derek Jeter broke ankle one day after he sold his apartment in Trump World Tower.”
Before and since, Trump has referred to Jeter as his friend, and there was that brief surreal moment (number 3,764 of this campaign) when the now-retired player’s name was floated as a potential vice president on a Trump Ticket. But make no mistake about it: In the week after Jeter broke his ankle in a gruesome, painful, public fashion, Trump was implying that it was somehow connected to Jeter selling his Trump apartment.
Now I have become Trump, the destroyer of ankles.
So maybe it’s just personal with Jeter? Nope. Eleven minutes after the first Jeter tweet, Trump went after Jeter’s then-teammate Alex Rodriguez for . . . you guessed it, leaving the warm destiny-designing confines of Trumpland:
“A-Rod was a great player when he lived at Trump Park Avenue -- even though he was on the juice!”
And some people think Donald Trump isn’t emotionally grounded enough to be commander-in-chief!
So I guess I’m lucky. He hasn’t claimed I tore my rotator cuff because I decided to leave the church of Trump, merely that I’m “trying to use ‘Trump’ to get publicity.” Which I am somehow doing by trying to get as far away from Trump as possible -- physically, morally and real-estatedly.
I do feel I should note that the customary reference to himself in the third person is now presented inside quotation marks, but as to the meaning of that I will defer to psychological professionals until we figure out what the hell is going on.
There is one final gem inside Trump’s paragraph that merits brief analysis: the bit about how “the prices of Trump apartments are today, the highest they’ve been.” To steal from a different political context, this is one of the great non-denial denials. Trump is trying to imply the term “prices” means what the apartments are actually selling for, not what the owners are asking for. I could just as easily claim that the price of Keith Olbermann Apartments are today the highest they’ve been! And just their average price alone is setting an Olbermann real estate record!
But in case he really means “cash paid,” Trump may regret that latest throwaway boast. Highest prices ever for Trump Apartments? Which ones? You’ll find plenty of Trumpian bargains in Chicago. Still plenty of time to throw money down the 11-year-old rathole that is the unbuilt Trump Tower Tampa. And the Hollywood Reporter says prices right at the heart of the Trump empire -- New York’s Trump Tower -- are down.
Maybe Trump means the apartments he owns. The New York real estate site Curbed says Trump has sold two of his own condos since last summer, for a combined $16.8 million less than the original asking prices.
And then there’s the poor guy who tried to sell his penthouse at the Trump compound nearest the United Nations for $20 million. He then cut the ask to $17.95 million. Finally he sold for $15.5 million. This was in October 2012. That poor sucker’s name was Derek Jeter. Given that adjusting for inflation he lost about 9 percent of his original investment, he must have felt as bad as if he’d broken his ankle or something.
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